Reflecting on Life
Reflecting on Life
So, I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my life lately, and going over the decisions that I have made, and debating if I have made the right choices or not. To be honest, these past few weeks have been a time of confusion and anxiety, as I have been mapping out what my goals are and what I want to achieve in the next few years.
For those of you who are Facebook friends with me, you probably received a message from me about a product survey that I have been doing. I've been going through my Facebook friend's list messaging people that I haven't spoken to in years, and also catching up with past friends and associates. From my observations, I have seen that many people that I went to school with are getting married and are having or already have kids!
Looking at my life and seeing where I'm at right now (I have decided to devote the next year to having as much sex with hot Asian women as possible ), this idea of "settling down" in my mid-20s doesn't attract me at all. I wonder how many of those men that I see getting married have sown their wild oats yet? Maybe they were better with women than me, so they don't feel the need to bang a line of hot Asian women (like I'm planning on doing! )....or maybe they don't know that a life of sleeping with tons of hot women is possible?!
I remember back during my freshman year of college was when I first got interested in Asian women. My dormitory had a lot of American Asians (Asians that were born and raised in America), and I remember being attracted to quite a few of them. It wasn't until my second year of college that I really started getting entranced by Asian women. There was this really cute and skinny Japanese girl with braces that caught my attention (I wrote about her somewhere on this forum), but I didn't have the skill to seduce/bed her.
I've been looking at The Rake's Facebook profile recently. For those of you who don't remember, The Rake was a student at my school who also shared my Asian fetish. Him and I aren't friends (he has denied my Facebook friend requests multiple times, and his Korean girlfriend unfriended me from Facebook after I wished her Happy New Years ), but I've managed to get a pretty good assessment of how he operates. From what I saw, in university he did much better with Asian women than me. He was always pretty popular with the Asians, and he even had a few girlfriends (this was pretty much the opposite of my experience, as I never got laid and I didn't experience any popularity until my final semesters in school).
Anyway, the Rake seems to have settled down now with his Korean girlfriend, and he's a rising star in a tech company that my friend operates. I can't help but compare my life to his, and wonder if I am on the right path. The Rake is working in a technology related field, and he is likely making a lot of money right now. I'm still really interested in art and art-related things (like product design), and I'm not sure if I will be able to reap as many riches from it as my friends who work in tech businesses. Anyway, I'm not really worried about making lots of money... honestly, I just want lots of sex with hot Asian women! (and I've figured that I can do that without being rich and famous)
Looking back, I still remember the pain and suffering the I went through during my college years. I studied engineering, and it was mentally and physically painful for me! I spent so much time studying, it's amazing that I managed to have any free-time to pursue women (even though I failed spectacularly so many times in my pursuits!). I wonder what would have happened if I had studied a less-difficult major? Adding to that, what would have happened if I had sexual success with the women that I was interested in pursuing? Something tells me that I might have lost some of my ambition to achieve.
By "lost some of my ambition to achieve", I mean that I might have never been motivated to improve myself to the extent that I have now. I mean, I've had so many personal failures, and I've missed out on experiencing so many wonderful things that it's actually pushed me to live a life of my own creation and desires, rather than settling for what life has already given me. I've got a copy of Robert Greene's Mastery open right next to me. I'm still steadily advancing through trial and error (pg. 87), and I feel like I am slowly building the life that I want to build. It's going to take a couple more years to get to exactly where I want to be in my life, but I feel like the next 25 years of my life are going to be even better than the previous 25 years!
*Note: I decided to put this post in the "Seductive Process" section because I feel like I have been on a long process to become the man that I am today.