Sexual Consent- Does "No" really mean "No"?
Sexual Consent- Does "No" really mean "No"?
This post is definitely worth your time to read.
Here's the deal: I'm not a rapist.
I recently had a sexual experience with a Chinese woman that has me questioning some of my previous beliefs about sexual consent when it comes to sleeping with women, particularly in the context of The Art of Seduction.I would like to get input on this thread from all of the available members of this forum, particularly the women~
Part 1: The girl who doth protest too much
I met this girl a couple of weeks ago at a school function. Let's refer to her as Honey Bear. She is small, cute, and Chinese, with a somewhat squeaky sounding voice. I labeled her as an Aging Baby. I was instantly attracted to her, and I swapped contact information with her.We hung out over the next few days, with me inviting her over to my house for "Chinese practice", etc. I also used her to make my other victim, The Art Virgin, jealous (which kind-of backfired, as the two girls, swapped contact information and were very friendly to each other- not jealous and hateful as I was hoping ).
The next day or so after the jealousy maneuver I invited her over, and we watched a movie together on my couch. I got close to her and wrapped my arm around her, and stole a kiss on her cheek. She told me that she didn't like me kissing her, so I stopped. She had the contact information of The Art Virgin, and I didn't want to risk her telling the Art Virgin about what had happened, so I didn't persist any further. As she was getting ready to leave my home I gave her a big bear-hug, picking her up and swinging her around. While hugging her I also blew into her neck, which made her laugh. This is the part where things get interesting.
As I was hugging her I felt her squeeze on my shoulder for a brief second. That was a brief sign of interest, but she started to say "I want to leave." I was feeling mixed signals from her, so I hugged her again, and this time she melted in my arms, and as she looked at me I saw that she had signs of attraction on her face, but again she said "I want to leave." I let her go, and she quickly left my apartment. Later that night, as we were messaging, she said that I scared her with my "crazy" behavior, and that I should apologize. I told her that I wouldn't apologize for my feelings, and then I wished her a good night.
She finished her final exams for the semester, so she left the college and went to her home in the nearby city. Over the next few days I continued to message her, and it became very apparent to me that she was falling under my spell. She made it explicitly clear to me that she would enjoy it the next time my lips touch her neck. I wanted to see her again to hopefully have sex with her, so we set up a time for me to hangout with her in her city. I had her help me arrange the hotel that I would be staying at (I did this partly because I wanted her to visit the hotel with me, and also because it is easier for a Chinese person to book the hotels for you).
We ended up in my room, on my bed, watching a movie. During the movie I slowly began to escalate on her, and kiss her. She turned her face away from me, as if to reject my kisses, but I continued to kiss her every few minutes or so. I let my hands wander across her body, but every time I tried to touch her breasts or her pussy she pushed my hands away. She said that I wasn't her boyfriend, and that she had never been with a man before. At one point I unlatched her bra and started playing with and sucking her breasts. During this time she would protest, telling me to "stop", but I kept doing it anyway, and she gave in to the pleasure. It seemed that she wasn't going to let me get any further with her sexually, so we returned to the movie. A little later we went out to the downtown area for the New Years celebration.
One interesting thing that happened while we were out was that she got angry at me for approaching and talking to another Chinese girl. Her exact words were "I can't stand you", and she was about to ditch me until I changed her mind with my words. This has become a pattern for her. She says "No" to me, or she says that she doesn't want to hangout with me, and then I convince her with my words (or through forceful physical action) to do what I want her to do. This happened the next day because she didn't want to come back to my hotel, but I convinced her to on the grounds that she had left the gift that I had given her there.
This time my strategy was to play it somewhat cold and aloof to get her to escalate on me, and it worked. As we left the hotel and went to the downtown area she started touching me, she kept remarking that I didn't seem happy, and she was asking what she had did wrong. I started to warm up a little throughout the day, but I still stayed somewhat aloof. We ended up back in my hotel room, watching a movie on the bed (the movie Unfaithful, from 2001). Even though we were lying shoulder to shoulder next to each other, I was keeping my hands to myself. I placed my hand in reach of her, and she grabbed it. That was my cue to start escalating on her.
Part 2: Sexual activity without consent
This time my hands got under her bra with very little resistance from her, and I eventually took off her top. She made it clear that she didn't want to have sex with me, so I asked her for a blowjob. She said she didn't know what a blowjob was, but that she didn't want to do it, and I assured her that it wasn't really sex. She was still resistant, but I took her hand and forced it down my underwear (she was using her other hand to cover her eyes from seeing me). I then pulled out my cock and put it by her face. She was resisting and saying "No" but I was able to get her to give me a few licks before she pulled her face away (my cock was too big for her mouth, so all she could do was lick).
I pulled her over to the edge of the bed and told her to get on the floor on her knees. She protested, saying that she didn't want to. I managed to get her on her knees and I grabbed her arm and held it behind her back while I masturbated my cock, as she struggled and tried to get up. I planned on coming on her. I tried to get her to kiss me as I was masturbating myself, but she turned her face away, and I just kissed her neck (I am pretty sure I heard her moan some). Finally I reached orgasm and shot it all over the front of her chest and neck. She gasped in surprise. "Ah, shit. I think that I just raped this girl" was what was going through my mind in the seconds after my orgasm.
As I helped her towel the semen off of her body she said "I'm not happy". I was starting to get a little worried, but a few minutes later her and I were lying in bed watching the movie, wrapped in each other's arms, and she was giggling happily. Later that night we played around, listening to R&B music, and sexual dancing on each other. Letting my hands wander down her pants I later discovered that she was on her period. As I laid on top of her she told me to kiss her, which is nice considering that the only times I had kissed her before were "stolen" kisses.
After she went home I texted her telling her to brush her teeth before she went to bed, but she said that she didn't want to because she wanted to keep my "taste" in her mouth... Asian women
Part 3: Relating this back to The Art of Seduction
So, what the hell happened here? I remember reading a couple stories in The Art of Seduction where a man forcefully takes a woman in a manner that borders on rape, and I wondered why Robert would use such examples in his book. I am a Western man, and I know that there have been many laws being pushed by feminist dealing with "Yes means Yes" for sexual consent. I think that many feminists would consider me a criminal for what I did with this girl, but this girl still really likes me (as a matter of fact, she seems to like me even more now). I have heard from other Western men living in Asia that "no" doesn't always mean "no" when you are in bed with an Asian women, but I am wondering what you all think about this situation of mine? If the woman says "no", should you always stop? I think not, but you all might have a different perspective on this.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts
Last Edited By: thecoldest Jan 3 16 2:47 PM. Edited 5 times.