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Jul 17 07 9:55 AM
Jul 17 07 12:31 PM
Jul 17 07 1:02 PM
Jul 17 07 2:52 PM
Jul 17 07 3:01 PM
Jul 17 07 3:17 PM
Jul 17 07 3:40 PM
Quote:If she's a pharmacist, I guess you work in health, too? And probably know a fair amount about mental health, so maybe you know more than I do about it.
Quote:Still, everyone has chinks in the armor. It's the people who seem most even-tempered and who seem bothered by nothing who sometimes worry me the most. When they blow up, it's nuclear. One woman, a friend, really struck me and everyone else as completely poised and in control of herself. After she lost it at a surprising moment, catching several people off guard, I think she embarrassed herself so badly that she wouldn't talk to me again. And cried every time she did.
Quote:Why are you trying to find the chinks? To get at her or to get her back?
Quote:You said you lack integrity--how? Is it possible, then, that your dream is a concern that she is harmed by your actions or perceived actions?
Jul 17 07 4:18 PM
Quote:I've hurt her feelings a number of times in the past, and I could see a definite emotional resonance in her reactions. I could see that she deals with her emotions up front and honestly, as they come. It's clear that she's not some tightly wound ball of repressed negativity.
Quote:I haven't been honest in my motivations. With her, I put up a front of disinterest and occasional contempt, because I just couldn't deal with being around her at the time. I deliberately drove her away. I was much too intimidated.
Jul 17 07 9:57 PM
Quote:Then you already know she's vulnerable and she's showing you where, though perhaps not how deep. But maybe it's not to the degree you expect?
Quote:What was intimidating about her or about the situation, and why was it important to you that you not show your feelings? I think it's typically male to show that kind of disinterest/contempt and that a lot of women see through it. Nevertheless, yes, it can drive people away if there seems to be no way around it.
Quote:Interesting to me that you want her to be vulnerable when you showed no vulnerability.
Quote:Why are you interested in getting at her? Do you want some sign that she loves you or is interested in you? Or is there some other reason?
Jul 17 07 11:01 PM
Jul 17 07 11:14 PM
Jul 18 07 8:12 AM
Jul 18 07 8:28 AM
Quote:I can pin it down thoroughly in AoS terms but I still have no reason to believe she ever meant to seduce me. In fact, I'm sure the opposite is true.
Jul 18 07 3:48 PM
Jul 18 07 5:58 PM
Quote:How did you reject her advances, and how did she react?
Quote:Can you contrive to see her alone or do you see her anymore? Maybe after the end of a pleasant afternoon or evening with other friends, when you behave warmly to her. Or better, at the end of several such days. Make one of your friends your accomplice and get them to set up something. Or do something surprising and unexpected.
Quote:If you're unsure of her victim type, she may be hiding as much from you as you have been from her. You do, then, have to see yourself through her eyes. She sees something in you. Think about what values you share, in what ways you think alike. And in what ways differently, in a manner that appeals to her, makes her dream.
Quote:How did she seduce you then? Why are you so sure that she didn't seduce you on purpose? And if she didn't mean to, why would she have made a move on you?
Jul 18 07 8:37 PM
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