by the other person, and unable to control yourself you will make your actions look more natural, less calculated."
This is one of the most difficult concepts to appreciate. We have all seen it work, both on us and on others. tAoS notes some reasons on why it is so. One of the reasons for men noted is that the belief that a woman is scheming to capture him with hard strategy is an attack on his masculinity. Females on the other hand are noted to feel that a man who is too masculine and not showing his sensitive side is uncaring and only wants her for sex.
These are strong points. There seems to also be something else yet I am hitting my head against the wall trying to grasp it. Maybe it is hinted at in music and poems. Maybe it shows a certain depth of soul. Thus allowing for a deeper association with us. Perhaps at points in our lives we want company for our misery and wish for a person to be able to relate on some level. A subtle hint, insinuation, or subconscious communication to the targets subconscious. Maybe it shows an inner emptiness that just needs to be filled. The summons of the seducer in our targets.